Challenging Your Mindset of Scarcity
As a personal coach, I recently had the honor of working with Candi, a sweet-hearted woman, who believed that asking for things was selfish, a value imbued by her grandmother. At first, I was surprised that Candi, in her sixties, still believed this lie, but then it occurred to me that our thinking doesn’t change on its own. It’s up to us to choose new thoughts and to practice them until they become true in our hearts and lives.
To update her thinking, I suggested that Candi begin working with the affirmation: “God’s love never runs out.” I gently pointed out that her grandmother’s perspective of not enough was part of a scarcity mindset and that there are plenty of resources available for everyone. Not “I win and therefore you lose,” but “I win! You win! We all win!” Candi immediately embraced the idea of God providing plenty for everyone.
As a full time caretaker of her ill-tempered spouse, Candi’s emotions and physical person are drained on an hourly basis as she tries to meet her husband’s unrelenting demands. I suggested a plan of renewal: once a day, she was to slip into her sewing room and write an affirmation. Breathe in while mentally reciting the affirmation, then repeat it on the out breath. Though stealing away for a couple of minutes didn’t seem revolutionary, it actually was. It created a shift in her mindset to one of self-care. Instead of plodding through each day mired in her responsibilities, she began taking time for herself. Though it was just a few minutes, it was enough to foster a spirit of self-nurturing.
The second affirmation that I suggested Candi begin working with was: “The more I receive, the more I have to give.” Instead of feeling guilty for taking time for herself, she practiced the concept that filling up her tank would bolster her caretaking muscles. Setting aside a moment or two every day to breathe and think her own thoughts proved immensely valuable.
After working with the first two affirmations for a week (three days for the first one and four days for the second one), we came up with a third affirmation: “I am a student of the Divine Universe.” (When working with affirmations, it can be helpful to change the affirmation frequently in order to keep things fresh.)
She had been so strongly identified with her caretaker role, it was challenging for her to switch out of that identity, even for a few minutes. In working with her third affirmation, she was able to gain some perspective. Though her situation required that she serve her husband’s needs virtually every waking hour, she remembered that she was first and foremost God’s creation, a daughter of the Divine.